


Re-dib-flip

by welovewebseries (unacaritafeliz)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Also rated T for tears since this apparently made you all cry, Angst, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Enemies, I cried too if that makes you feel better, M/M, Rated T for language, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-10-16 19:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10577730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz/pseuds/welovewebseries
Summary: "How can you just say it'll be fine?" Dex snaps. "How could it possibly be fine? How could we possibly share a room when we can't even fucking stand each other?"It feels like he's been checked into the boards by the entire Yale team at once. No, it feels so much worse than that. It feels like he's been slammed into the board by his best friend, who won't even stop and make sure he's okay before skating off.[Nursey's excited to share a room with his best friend. Dex would rather stay in the dorms.]





	1. The Fight

Today had gone much better than Nursey had been hoping. When he'd heard that Ransom and Holster (the traitors, so much for d-men sticking together) had given their dibs to Ollie and Wicky he had fully expected to be facing another year in the dorms, after all that Dex had done to fix the Haus this year. Sharing a room with the boy you're in love with is probably not the brightest idea, but Nursey can work with it. Dex is his best friend, and Nursey is chill and besides, if he's going to win Dex's affection he's got to start somewhere, right?

Nursey crawls into bed, happier than he has been in a long time. He's just about drifted off to sleep when there's a loud knock on the door. Groaning, he sits up to look at his roommates loft bed, finding it still empty. Cursing Pete and his habit or perpetually forgetting his keys, Nursey pulls himself out of bed and stumbles over the door to open it for his roommate.

"Man, you gotta stop locking yourself out..." Nursey says. He trails off as he notices it's not Pete outside the door, but Dex clad in pyjama pants and his old red flannel. Dex is obviously in a weird state; the buttons on his flannel are done up incorrectly and his hair is sticking up weirdly as if he's been running his hands repeatedly through it. Nursey's never seen Dex quite like this and his breath catches in his throat.

"Dex, man, what's wrong?" Nursey asks, letting him through the door and closing the door behind him. "Are you alright?"

Dex glances around the room as if he's never been in there before. He exhales before throwing his hand outward to linger in the space between them. Nursey looks at Dex's freckled fingers, confused.

"I want you to take my dibs," Dex says.

Nursey's eyes jump up to Dex's face, desperately looking for any sign of a joke. But Dex is deadly serious.

"What?" Nursey asks.

"l've been thinking about us sharing Lardo's room," says Dex. "I don't want to.

"Bro, when I said you'd be moved out by August I was kidding," Nursey says, shaking his head.

"But I wasn't kidding when I said I couldn't share with you," Dex says. "The by-laws don't say anything against me giving away my dibs before I graduate so... I'm giving them to you. I'll stay in the dorms next year, you can have Lardo's room."

"Come on, Poindexter," says Nursey, trying to ignore his rapidly quickening heartbeat. "I told you it'd be chill. Rent will be cheaper if we share, and this way we both get to live in the Haus with Bitty and C. It'll be fine and..."

"How can you just say it'll be fine?" Dex snaps. "How could it possibly be fine? How could we possibly share a room when we can't even fucking stand each other?"

It feels like he's been checked into the boards by the entire Yale team at once. No, it feels so much worse than that. It feels like he's been slammed into the board by his best friend, who won't even stop and make sure he's okay before skating off.

"I thought we were passed that," Nursey says. 

Dex actually snorts at that, as if he's somehow hellbent in making this as painful for Nursey as he can.

"We're not," Dex says. "You saw us today. We were ripping each other apart over there! Ransom and Holster are leaving, we're going to be the starting defense pair and how could we play good hockey if we just got into an argument that morning? Attempting to share a living space with you is the worst idea I've ever heard and this hockey team is full of dumb ideas."

"But Dex..." starts Nursey

"But nothing," says Dex. "We have to stop pretending like everything is going to change and we're just magically going to become the best of friends once we move in together." 

Nursey's eyes are trained at the corner of Pete's loft bed, just behind Dex's right shoulder. He can't look at Dex. He never wants to look at Dex ever again. He wants to go to his car and drive home to New York, to curl up in bed with Mama and Ammi and never come back to this stupid university ever again. He knows it's dramatic, but he doesn't know how else to feel. How are you supposed to feel when your best friend tells you that he doesn't feel the same way about you? How are you supposed to feel when the boy you like can't stand you?

"I don't want your dibs, man," says Nursey, teeth gritted in an attempt to keep the emotion out of his voice. "Keep them. The room is yours."

"What?" Dex asks. "I'm not asking you to give up your room. You wanted dibs so badly you were willing to share..."

"Willing to share?" Nursey asks, temper suddenly flaring up. He locks eyes with Dex, glaring at his defense partner. "Dex, I wasn't just willing to share, I was excited to share a room with you! I wanted to share the room with you! I thought I was so lucky, that I was going to spend two years of my life rooming with my best friend. But apparently I was wrong, because my best friend doesn't consider me to be his best friend. My best friend can't even fucking stand me!"

He's crying now, tears rolling hot and fast down his cheeks and he knows Dex must be judging how overly dramatic and extra he is, probably even laughing at the fact that Nursey could ever actually think that the two of them could be best friends.

Nursey doesn't even want to imagine what Dex would think if he knew about Nursey's big gay crush on him.

"I..." Dex starts. "Nursey..."

His voice is so soft and it's not fair. Dex never calls him Nursey and he's not allowed to start now, not when he's just broken Nursey's heart into pieces. He's not allowed to just say Nursey's name like that and be forgiven for all the things he's said. He's not allowed to pretend he cares.

"Dibs are yours, Poindexter," Nursey says, sitting down on his bed. "Now get the fuck out of my room."

There's a pause and Nursey knows Dex is just staring at him, trying to work out what to do next. The door slams shut. When Nursey looks up he can't stop the sob that escapes his body. He's mad at Dex for leaving and he hates himself for actually thinking Dex was going to stay.

He throws the covers over his head. He's never leaving his room again.


	2. Team Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes Nursey a good moment to process Chowder's words, and then another moment to turn around to look at Dex; who at least has the decency to look appropriately ashamed of himself. Dex's is blushing, rapidly turning red from his ears down to his chest, but for once Nursey doesn't think that it's cute.
> 
> He's livid.
> 
> [Nursey finally emerges from his room to go to Team Breakfast. It goes as well as he expected].

Nursey had resigned himself to staying at Samwell until after graduation. Ammi was going to be Boston for a conference on graduation day, and she was going to travel back to New York with him. He thought he might as well stay and wait for her, rather than worry his mums with a change of plans. Besides, it's not like he could just leave without saying goodbye to the seniors; traitor or not, Justin Oluransi is the closest thing Nursey's ever had to a sibling and Derek Malik Nurse was not about to skip out on family.

That said, Nursey hadn't planning on leaving his room until graduation. There wasn't really any reason he would need to; classes were over, hockey was finished and he had enough dry noodle packets stashed in his room to feed him for several weeks. Unfortunately, he'd only lasted two days before Bitty showed up at his dorm room, pie in hand, and demanded to know why no one had seen him since the dib-flip. It'd all come rushing out of him, what Dex had said, and how Nursey had felt and how much he was in love with his defense partner who hated him. Bitty had listened to him intently, hugged him tightly and then gently demanded that he attended team breakfast the next day.

Now that Nursey was in the cafeteria, approaching the team table and clutching his tray so tightly he was slightly worried it would break, he realises that Bitty's idea was a terrible one. He couldn't do this, show up and talk to the team like nothing was wrong when he felt broken, as if every member of his team was just waiting to turn their backs on him too. He bites his lip hard, keeping his eyes down as he walks toward Bitty's end of the table, thankful that Dex is all the way at the other end.

"Nursey!" Chowder yells.

Nursey looks over and frowns. Chowder is, of course, sitting right in front Dex and Nursey really doesn't want to go near him. But, it's Chowder asking, and he's never been able to say no to Chowder, so he takes a deep breath and walks over.

"Hey, C," says Nursey. "Sup, P-Poindexter."

He nods his head towards Dex, but his eyes are stay on Chowder. The stutter in his voice is subtle and, although Nursey can feel his heart leaping from his chest, he thinks that maybe he's still got some semblance of chill. It's only going to take one look at Dex for all of that to break.

"Hey Nurse," Dex says. Nursey almost wants to categorise his voice as soft, but he's not going to do that anymore. He's not going to make the mistake of thinking Dex cares about him again.

Chowder stands up from the table and frowns. He takes the tray from Nursey's hands and puts it down firmly on the table before he throws his arms around Nursey's neck. Nursey staggers backward as Chowder's weight collides into him, but he only hesitates for a moment before his arms wrap around Chowder's back. He buries is face in Chowder's neck, breathing deeply and trying not to cry.

Nursey's not sure what he did to deserve Christopher Chow, but he'd do it over and over again if he had to.

"Where have you been?" Chowder asks, moving backwards. His hands stay resting on Nursey's forearms.

"I, uh... I had a thing," Nursey says. "A friend's thing... He, uh, my friend, needed help with something so I... helped him."

He suppresses a groan. He hates himself so much. He's supposed to be a poet and an English major and yet those are the only words he could find in his brain? This is why Dex can't stand him, because he never does anything right.

"Oh," says Chowder. "We've missed you."

Nursey smiles, small but genuine. He's glad Chowder didn't call him out on his terrible excuse. Chowder always comes through.

"I missed you too, C," he says.

"Come on, sit down and eat," says Chowder, pulling a chair out for him. "Dex and I want to tell you about the research we did into setting up another bed in Lardo's room."

It takes Nursey a good moment to process Chowder's words, and then another moment to turn around to look at Dex; who at least has the decency to look appropriately ashamed of himself. Dex's is blushing, rapidly turning red from his ears down to his chest, but for once Nursey doesn't think that it's cute.

He doesn't know if the other bed is for him or for someone else but either way he's livid.

"What?" Nursey says, folding his arms across his chest.

"I just... we looked at how easy it would be to change Lardo's loft bed into bunks," Dex mumbles at the table. "I could actually do it pretty cheap and easy; you'd just need to find a mattress and bring it down with you next year..."

Nursey can't believe it. Dex is talking as if they're still going to share the room together, as if the conversation in Nursey's dorm never happened as if he didn't break Nursey's heart into pieces.

"What?" Nursey repeats. His voice cracks.

"Look, this obviously isn't the way I wanted to talk to you about it," Dex says, getting to his feet. "But..."

"There's nothing to talk about, Poindexter," Nursey says. "We're not sharing the room."

"Nursey..." starts Dex.  


His voice is definitely soft this time, he's almost pleading with him, and it's not fair. Dex is not allowed to just say Nursey's nickname and look up bunk beds and expect to be forgiven for all the things he's said.

"Go to hell, Poindexter," Nursey says.

"Nursey!" Chowder, Lardo, Ransom and Holster say at once.

He suddenly realises that the entire SMH team is watching them. Chowder, Lardo, Ransom and Holster are on their feet, looking to intervene. He tries not to be mad at them, he knows they don't know what happened and he knows how it must look from their perspective, but he's mad anyway. How could they even suggest that this is his fault?

"It's okay, guys," Dex says, quietly. "I kind of deserved that."

"Kind of?!" Nursey growls. God, he's going to punch him.

"Now that's enough, y'all," Bitty says, standing up. "Everyone sit down. Now."

Bitty's voice is the kind of cold and demanding that only Bitty's can be and Nursey's so glad he told him everything. He stays on his feet as everyone else sinks into their chairs, looking sheepish at being told off. Bitty walks over to Nursey and wraps an arm around his shoulders. Nursey's not sure, but he thinks Bitty might be glaring at Dex.

"Derek," says Bitty, moving next to him. "Are you alright?"

Nursey shakes his head. He's not even close to being alright.

"I'm going to get some air," he says to Bitty. "Uh, stay with the team, Bits?"

He really wants Bitty to come with him, really doesn't want to be alone, but he also doesn't want to leave the team without someone on his side. At least if Bitty stays, they won't gossip about him. He grabs his still full tray of food and stalks towards the exit, feeling the entire team staring at him. He hates this. He hates this so much.

He's about to throw his food into the trash and leave when his tray is yanked away from him. Startled, he looks up to see Ford, pulling his tray into her hands. Her eyes are soft, but they're not pitying.

"You shouldn't waste this, Nurse," she says. "My theatre friends and I are sitting over there in the corner. You should come and join us."

He's unsure if he should follow, knowing the team is still watching his every move. He kind of wants to run as far away from here as possible.

"Come on, Nursey," says Ford. She links her right arm with his left as she balances his tray under one arm. "It'll be 'chill'."

Something like relief washes over him as she smiles at him. He smiles back. He's grateful for Ford. 

"Thanks, Ford," he says.

She winks at him.

"Got your back."


	3. Graduation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ceremony itself is reserved for family, but there's a screen erected on the grass showing a livestream, and so the team (including a few past graduates and some of the volleyball girls) spread out on Bitty's picnic rugs and watch from there. Nursey is well aware of Dex's presence at the opposite end of the rugs, but it's hard to be completely angry or bitter or uncomfortable when he's got Ford leaning against his left shoulder and Farmer lying down on his right with her head resting on his legs.
> 
> [Nursey spends some quality time with the team on graduation day]

Despite having completely different majors, Ransom, Holster and Lardo are all assigned the same graduation ceremony. Johnson, who has driven up for the day, claims its due to 'plot simplification, don't tell the author how to live her life' and Nursey neither knows nor cares what that means. He's just glad he's only got to emerge from his room for one event rather than three.

The ceremony itself is reserved for family, but there's a screen erected on the grass showing a livestream, and so the team (including a few past graduates and some of the volleyball girls) spread out on Bitty's picnic rugs and watch from there. Nursey is well aware of Dex's presence at the opposite end of the rugs, but it's hard to be completely angry or bitter or uncomfortable when he's got Ford leaning against his left shoulder and Farmer lying down on his right with her head resting on his legs.

The team cheers obnoxiously loudly when the graduates finally emerge. Nursey grins as he watches Chowder charge up the field to throw himself on top of Ransom, and laughs as Shitty mimics the action and jumps into Holster's arms. Farmer rolls off of him, touching his shoulder softly before she runs over to hug Lardo. Slowly the rest of the team get up and walk over, until only he and Ford remain on the blankets.

"You can go too, you know," says Nursey, gently rolling his shoulder to nudge her head. "You don't have to wait for me. I'm okay."

"I'm not waiting for you," Ford says. She makes no attempt to move, not even looking up at him as she continues to idly scroll through her phone.

Nursey smiles, as he pulls his own phone out of his pocket. He's got a text from his Ammi about how her room at the conference ended up having two beds, and that he's welcome to stay the night before they drive back to New York in the morning. He texts her back to let her know he'll be over later in the afternoon. The sooner he can get out of Samwell the better.

He flips over to Twitter, which is mostly full of Bitty crying about graduation and quoting the highlights of the teams banter during the ceremony, waiting for the crowd to dissipate before he goes to say his goodbyes.

"They're coming over," says Ford. Nursey looks up at her. "I'll get Holster."

He's not sure how she knows he wants to be left alone with Ransom, but she jumps to her feet before he can decide if she wants to hug. Ford runs into Ransom's arms, hugging him tightly, before wrapping her arms around Holster's waist and attempting to wrestle him to the ground. Ransom grins at them, before glancing up at Nursey. Nursey pulls himself to his feet as Ransom walks towards him

"I wasn't sure if you were going to come," Ransom says.

"Wouldn't have missed your graduation, Rans," Nursey says.

"Even though I'm a traitor who gave my dibs to Ollie and Wicky?" asks Ransom.

"Hey," says Nursey. "I don't blame you for that."

"I mean, I haven't even been around for you," says Ransom. "I know you've been hurting and I haven't even tried to talk to you about it until now and..."

"Ransom!" Nursey interrupts, rubbing his face. He was hoping this wasn't going to happen. "It's fine, honestly. I'm not here to talk about any of that. I just wanted to say congratulations and goodbye to my friends."

"I've been a shitty friend," says Ransom.

"Rans, it's chill," Nursey says. He pushes his hand through his hair, moving the curls out of his eyes. "You're not a shitty friend - you're my brother, okay? And you're graduating! That's the exciting part, that's the thing we need to be talking about. Not this... dibs drama, which isn't your fault and isn't even your problem anymore."

He knows he doesn't sound chill anymore, but he hardly cares. Ransom is looking at him with something akin to pity and Nursey hates this.

"Derek," says Ransom, placing a hand gently on Nursey's bicep. "My graduating doesn't change anything. Anything that's hurting you is always going to be my problem."

Nursey breaks. He throws his arms around Ransom, burying his face in Ransom's shoulder. Ransom instantly wraps his arms around Nursey, holding onto him tightly.

"I'm going to miss you, bro," Ransom whispers. "But I'm only ever a phone call away, okay?"

Nursey's not sure he can hug Ransom any tighter, but his arms squeeze him closer anyway. He loves Ransom so much.

"Hey" asks Holster. "Can I get some Nursey cuddles too?"

Nursey's not sure how long Holster's been standing there, how much Holster has seen, but he nods his head and reaches an arm out to let Holster in. Ransom and Holster are both so big and warm and friendly, and he feels so safe and protected in their arms. It's far too soon when they let go, but Nursey feels so much better.

"I love you guys," he says, smiling at them.

"Love you too, brother," says Ransom.

"Be good, okay, Nurse?" Holster says. "And make sure you call us when you need to."

"Okay," says Nursey.

"Hey Justin!" March calls. "Adam, come get a picture with us!'

"See you around, Nurse," Ransom says, touching his shoulder.

They turn to walk towards March and April and Nursey feels himself deflate. Ransom and Holster have such a loud and constant presence in his life for the past two years. He loves them both so much. Life at Samwell could never feel complete without them and now they're gone.

It's too much. He needs to leave. He needs to find Lardo, so he can say his goodbyes and get the fuck out of here. He turns to look for her, his breath catching in his throat when he finds Dex standing behind him.

"Uh, hey," says Dex. "Can we talk?"

Nursey wants to yell at him. He wants to scream about how unfair this is, about how Dex isn't allowed to expect to be able to fix this. But he's so tired. He doesn't have the strength in him for another fight.

"Nursey, please" Dex says.

And there's that damned nickname again. It's not fair. Nursey shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath and unsuccessfully tries to calm his rushing heart. He looks up at Dex, biting his lip so hard it hurts. He knows if he goes home like this he's going to spend the entire summer upset about this, that he's going to be in pain the whole way to the next semester and beyond. He has to deal with this now.

"I need to say goodbye to Lardo," he says. He's only 60% sure that his voice isn't shaking. "And then we can talk."


	4. Goodbye for the Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know!" says Dex. He runs his hand through his hair again. "I know. I just... look, you and I have been getting along so well recently. But when we were fighting for Lardo's dibs we were mean and hurtful and childish. It was like we were back in freshman year, when we were really unable to stand each other. And I just kept thinking that if we had to share a room, maybe we'd always be like that. That we'd unable to take a break from each other and we'd just getting angrier and angrier and pissing each other off until eventually we snapped and we... we lost each other."
> 
> Dex drops his head into his hands and takes a deep breath.
> 
> "But I fucked up," he says. "I lost you anyway."
> 
> [Dex finally talks about his feelings]

They don't talk as they walk over to say goodbye Lardo, Nursey bending down to wrap his long arms around her tiny body. They don't talk as they walk to Annie's, Nursey's arms crossed firmly across his chest, his fingers digging painfully into his skin. They don't talk as they make their orders and pay for their coffees separately, Nursey's skin tingling because he knows it's his turn to buy. They don't talk until they're sitting in their favourite booth at the back of the cafe, Nursey's legs tucked under his chair as far away from Dex's as possible, and Dex says

"Nursey..."

"Stop calling me that," Nursey snaps. He doesn't mean to start this conversation with an argument, but he can't help it. The anger has been simmering under his skin for too long.

"Stop calling you what?" Dex asks, confused. "Nursey?"

"I know it's my nickname but you never used it before," Nursey mumbles. "You only started using it after... you know."

He knows it sounds dumb even as the words are falling from his mouth and he half expects Dex to chirp him for it. Instead, Dex frowns at him, pity written on his face and Nursey feels himself getting angrier. Dex isn't allowed to feel sorry for him.

"Sorry, Nurse," Dex says, softly. "I didn't realise..."

"Yeah whatever," says Nursey. "It's chill."

It's not chill. He knows it's not chill, and he knows Dex knows it's not chill but it's an instinctual reaction. Besides, he kind of hopes it's going to rile Dex up, or make him roll his eyes, or do anything to stop Dex looking at him like he's going to break. Dex huffs out a breath and runs a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face.

"It's not 'chill'," says Dex. "It's not even close to being chill. God, Nurse, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the things I said and for making you feel like I don't care about you..."

"But you don't care about me," says Nursey. He manages to keep his voice steady, but he can't ignore the stabbing pain in his heart. As angry as he is, the fact Dex doesn't care about him still hurts. He's not sure it's ever going to stop hurting.

"I do care about you!" says Dex.

Dex's voice is more fierce and passionate than it has any right to be. Nursey snorts as he raises an eyebrow at Dex. This conversation is ridiculous and Dex is being completely unfair.

"Yeah, well, you've got a weird fucking way of showing it, Poindexter," Nursey says, coldly.

"I know!" says Dex. He runs his hand through his hair again. "I know. I just... look, you and I have been getting along so well recently. But when we were fighting for Lardo's dibs we were mean and hurtful and childish. It was like we were back in freshman year, when we were really unable to stand each other. And I just kept thinking that if we had to share a room, maybe we'd always be like that. That we'd unable to take a break from each other and we'd just getting angrier and angrier and pissing each other off until eventually we snapped and we... we lost each other."

Dex drops his head into his hands and takes a deep breath.

"But I fucked up," he says. "I lost you anyway."

Nursey's heart stutters in his chest. He doesn't even know how to respond to that. Dex's point is completely valid and he sounds absolutely wrecked. But even though why Dex didn't want to share the room makes complete sense, this is about so much more than sharing or not sharing their dibs. This is about how Dex had come into Nursey's dorm room that night and burnt down everything they had. Dex might sound wrecked, but he's the one that ruined them.

"You told me you couldn't stand me," says Nursey. "Dex, I... You don't know what it felt like to hear you say that."

"I don't," says Dex. "I have no idea how shitty that must have felt but I am so sorry I made you feel that way. I shouldn't have said it. I... I didn't even mean it. I mean... sometimes it does feel that way. Sometimes you're insufferable, Nurse, but I know I am too. But I... I don't want you any other way and I don't want Samwell without you. You're my best friend, too, Nurse. I know I said otherwise. I was just... wrong and dumb."

Nursey supposes he shouldn't just believe what Dex is saying, but he does. Dex wouldn't admit to being wrong if he wasn't, wouldn't pour out his heart and leave himself vulnerable unless he meant it. Some part of Dex had to care about him for this conversation to be happening.

"I mean, you were dumb," says Nursey. "Like, I get it - living together is a huge commitment. It's letting someone else into your safe space, I guess, and I suppose you and I really do need a "cooling-off" period so things don't escalate like this. I mean, we can't all be like fucking Ransom-and-Holster, constantly attached at the hip and never breaking. But you should have just told me all that at the beginning instead of coming in all aggressive. I mean, what you said hurt, man."

"I know," says Dex. "I know and I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm just really fucking bad at feelings, Nurse."

Nursey laughs. He can't help it. They're such a mess; Dex with his inability to communicate his own emotions and Nursey with his inability to ever keep his in check. They're so bad for each other, but even after everything, Nursey's still not ready to give this up.

"It's not an excuse," Dex continues. "And it's not a reason to forgive me. It's just the truth. I'll work on it. I promise."

"I hope you do," says Nursey. "Being open with your feelings is a good look on you, Poindexter."

He reaches his leg out to kick Dex gently under the table and Dex rolls his eyes halfheartedly as he kicks back.

"I'd tell you to fuck off," Dex says. "But, I'm still waiting to see if you'll forgive me for being the literal worst best friend and defense partner on the planet."

"You know we can't go back, right?" asks Nursey. "We can't just pretend this week never happened."

"I know," says Dex. "I know we can't go back. But I'm hoping we can go forward."

Nursey exhales. Forward sounded like a good direction to go.

"I mean, I think our new captain might have an aneurysm if we didn't make up," Nursey says, softly.

Dex laughs, but it doesn't sound genuine. It sounds worried and frightened and unsure.

"I think Chow's on your side," he says, quietly. He's staring at his coffee cup instead of Nursey's face. "Not that I blame him. I think I'm on your side too."

He looks up at Nursey through his eyelashes. Nursey takes a deep breath and nods.

"I can forgive you," says Nursey. "If you promise to just talk to me next time, dumbass. Like properly use words and shit."

Dex's face lights up with a smile. He's practically glowing; joy and relief shining on his face. He looks the way Nursey feels, completely and utterly happy.

"Yeah?" says Dex. "Really?"

"And you better spend all of next year making it up to me," Nursey says. "You know, proving we are best friends and that you can actually stand me. Like, only Ransom-and-Holster levels of affection will suffice. I'm talking cuddles during movie night and everything."

Dex blushes at that, but he's still smiling as he nods his head. The smile slowly fades from his face and he takes a deep breath and bites his lip. Nursey's frowns as he tries to work out why Dex's mood changed so fast.

"Will you move into the Haus with me?" Dex says, softly. "I know at breakfast I made it sound like I assumed you were going to, but I never assumed so. I wanted to talk to you about it first but just Chowder brought it up and... well, we've already established I'm bad at talking about things. And I'm sorry about that. Nurse, I can't think of a single reason why you'd want to but I want you to share the room with me. I... I don't want to let something good pass us by because I'm worried about what could go wrong. I want to try, with you."

And, God, some part of Nursey wants to try too, some part of him still wants everything he can have with Dexwith Dex. But he still knows that this is too soon, too rushed. As much as it hurts, he knows that they aren't ready, not to be roommates, not to be anything more. 

"I can't," he says. "If anything this has proved that we're not ready. We need some time to get back to being best friends before we can even think about being roommates. We just both need some space."

Dex closes his eyes and sighs before nodding.

"That's fair," he says. "But then I think you should take the room. I think you deserve to be around your friends."

"I..., uh, if I take it, all I'll think about is how I'm not sharing it with you," says Nursey. "Besides, I think Ford's roommate got March's old room in the Volleyball House so I was thinking maybe I could room with her. I think that'd be pretty chill."

"Yeah," says Dex. "That'd be nice. I'm glad you... I'm glad we found Ford."

"Yeah, me too," says Nursey.

They fall silent. Nursey focuses on tearing the napkin in front of him to shreds, rather than looking at Dex's face. He wonders if the same thoughts are fluttering around Dex's head; thoughts of missed opportunities and broken connections and everything the room in the Haus could have been for the two of them. He doesn't think so. Dex might have admitted to their being best friends, but there's no way Dex ever thought of returning his feelings.

"I think I'll still install the bunks though," says Dex. "I mean, living together 24/7 might be too much but maybe you could stay over sometimes?"

Nursey exhales softly. This boy is going to kill him.

"I'd, uh, I'd like that, Poindexter," says Nursey.

"Yeah?" asks Dex. "I think I'd like that too."

There's something about the way Dex sounds that makes Nursey think that maybe Dex has thought of returning his feelings. It's still too soon but his still-sore heart skips a beat in his chest at the thought of maybe being more with Dex one day, when this week is nothing about a distant memory. He exhales softly, unable to take his eyes off Dex. Dex is staring straight back at him.

"Nurse, I..." starts Dex.

Nursey's phone chimes on the desk and the moment slips away. Dex's gaze drops to the table, a blush creeping onto his neck and ears. Nursey drops his eyes to his phone to read the message; Ammi telling him she's waiting in the hotel for him and asking him where he is. Glancing at the time, he realises he's late to meet her, that he's spent more time in this coffee shop with Dex than he originally planned.

"Uh, that's Ammi," says Nursey. "I was supposed to meet her a few minutes ago, actually. I suppose we should..."

He gestures to the door, a half-hearted attempt at going. It's strange, how just a few hours ago he couldn't wait to get out of Samwell and now he feels reluctant to leave.

"Right, yeah, okay," says Dex, glancing at his own phone. "My parents should be here soon too, actually."

They don't speak as they get up, pick up their bags and get out of Annie's, lingering awkwardly outside the door. Dex's dorm is to the left and Nursey's is to the right; this is goodbye for the summer and yet Nursey's not ready to leave. And unless he's mistaken, Dex isn't ready for him to go either.

"Well have a good summer, Poindexter," says Nursey, extending his hand towards Dex.

"Yeah, you too, Nurse," says Dex, wrapping his hand around Nursey's.

There's a pause where Nursey stares at their joined hands, before he and Dex are being pulled together into a hug. He's not really sure who instigated the hug, not sure if he or Dex tugged on their clasped hands first, but he can hardly bring himself to care when Dex's warm arms are curled around his waist, Dex's face buried in his shoulder. He tightens his arms around his best friend, resting his face in Dex's red hair and breathing him in.

Nursey's happier than he's been in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys.
> 
> You know, I wasn't planning on a sequel, but the idea of Dex having an extra bed in his room is almost too good to pass up. Would you guys be up for a Part II featuring all the times Nursey sleeps over? I promise it'll be significantly less angsty than this part.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading (and for all the comments!) and I'm really sorry that it took so long to finish! Please leave a comment if you can and come say hi on tumblr! (@unacaritafeliz or @welovewebseries)
> 
> ETA: Im so happy you all want a sequel but did y'all actually like this chapter? I feel like hardly anyone has commented on the content, only on the possibility of a sequel.


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